google-spy-e

Hello, is this Pizzeria Palermo?

No, sir! This is Google pizzeria.

Oh, I must have dialed the wrong number?

No sir, Google bought the pizzeria.

Ah, okay! Then my order is…

Sir, would you like to order the usual?

The usual? Do you know me?

According to our caller ID, you’ve ordered a medium crusted sausage pizza thirty times in the past.

Okay! laughs That’ll do it!

Would you like to try the ricotta and arugula with sun-dried tomatoes … ?

No, I hate vegetables.

That’s probably why your cholesterol is so high …

How do you know that?!

From the participant handbook. There are your blood test results for the last 7 years.

Okay, but I don’t want this pizza! I have been taking medication for high cholesterol for a long time.

You have not been taking your medications regularly. Two months ago you bought only one box of twentyfour pills at Mareschi Pharmacy.

I bought more pills at another pharmacy.

I can’t find such transaction on your credit card.

Because I paid in cash!

Not possible. According to your bank statement, you didn’t withdraw that much money …

But I have another source of money.

Then why is this not noted on your last tax return? Are you receiving income from an undeclared source?

What questions are you asking me? Enough! I am fed up with Google, Facebook, Apple and Microsoft! I will go to an island where there is no internet, no cell phones and no one can spy on me.

I understand you, sir, but in this case you need to renew your foreign passport because it has been expired for six months …

beep … beep … beep … (hung up)